Should I Stop Relaxing My Hair?

14th January 2009

Should I Stop Relaxing My Hair?

I have been asked this question just as many times as I have asked it, myself.

This is only my opinion, not the gospel, but I think that the decision to relax, straighten, color, or do anything to your hair that is permanent, requires serious thought.

Any process that changes your natural hair structure will require maintenance. And, once you decide to relax, or color your hair it is weakened state. This doesn’t mean it’s damaged, but it needs to be handled gently.

Here are some questions to ask yourself prior to making the pending decision.

Is your hair in optimal health now?
Will relaxing your hair make it manageable?
Are you able to budget time/money that it takes to maintain your relaxer?
Are you going to follow the recommended plan for conditioning and re-touch?
Do you have a qualified stylist, one that you are certain, will do a good job?
Do you have flexibility in styles with your natural hair?

I asked myself all of these questions before deciding NOT to go natural again. While, I love my natural curls, I don’t have much flexibility, when it comes to styling it. I have a lot of hair and there have been times when I have washed it, gone to bed and the next morning it would still be very damp. By the time I got dressed, my hair was a poofy, mad, mess.

Keeping my hair relaxed was a good decision for me, because tight curls prevented my natural oils from falling down the shaft, so relaxing the curls loosened them up enough allow the oils to flow. I also lessened my detangling time, and

There are varying degrees of straightness. Some stylists automatically go for s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t! I made the mistake of letting my stylist, take out too much curl and it took a few years for me to see a decent curl pattern again. You can tell your stylist that you want your hair relaxed, but not bone-straight.

If decide to grow out your relaxer, then it’s important to keep your hair well hydrated, conditioned and you must handle it with kit-gloves. Excess dryness will lead to breakage, starting point being where the hair had initially been relaxed.

It would probably be easier to maintain hair during the transition, if you continue to do your dominican blow outs. This keeps the hair straight, making it easy to comb and continue to get your ends trimmed, preventing frayed ends from getting caught on your comb.

Posted in Hair it is

8 Responses to “Should I Stop Relaxing My Hair?”

anonymos
January 17th, 2009 at 5:29 am

I was previously natural due because of alopecia cause by wrong chemical service.I was loosing hair in patches an it was spreading each day so i decide to do the BC even though i was going to school at that time and i was worried that my friends will call me a boy (bc i was the only african girl at my school) anyway i talked to my teacher to allow me to wear a hat at school (because it was unrespectful to do so) and he did. The whole year a wore a heat whenever i went.After a long time of prayer and such the bald patches started to grow again only at my nape i had little 2 patches that have grown now but the hair there are very fine compared to my other hair strands that are thick).Even thought i was SO afraid of relaxers i went back to it after some time because i was so frustrated and felt a lot of pain when cornrowing (i did it for 2-3 yrs constantly),i didn’t know anything about hair, so a time came i said enough is enough. After relaxing i learn about hair care and i decided to go natural , it was not easy for me, on the 11th month of transition i relaxed it again 1st because i was loosing a lot of hair due to not finding a good detangler
2nd because of lack of products where I’m living and 3rd apart of learning about hair and seeing peoples natural hair at forums and such it made it even worse i thought that my hair will be full of curls but ”unfortunately” it wasn’t only the back of my hair had curls. My mind was polluted by certain stereotypes then i started seeing some of the naturals going back to relaxers and i thought what is the meaning if ppl go back to relaxers after 8yrs of being natural then is better for me to go back now insted of 8yrs later.And again all that was because of mind pollution i believed that all hair is GOOD hair and God gave me the perfect hair but at the other hand i knew i wasn’t ready for it and i wouldn’t have the time & someone to help me with braids ,cornrow e.t.c. so i went back to relaxed as hard as it was and i told myself I’ll keep it like that till i reach my hair goal mid back length or more.So the problem now is that i have a lot of split ends from the transition and i need to snip more than 4 inches So think about it really well look at all the perspectives before deciding to go natural.Now i’m ok with my relaxed hair that doesn’t mean that i wouldn’t be with my natural hair.But this was a goood decision for me; now i care for my hair better than i was and by God’s grace my mind is clean and pure from all the garbage and stereotypes.I’m unique!Hey la negra i believe & pray that you too will be ok after the operation:)
LaNegra
January 17th, 2009 at 9:42 am

Thank you for sharing your story!

Regardless to whether or not, one decides to relax, go natural, color their hair, or whatever the process, your hair should always be treated well. Once a person decides to go with a permanent process, growing it out is then a huge decision.

Rather than cutting off 4 inches at once, you may want to opt to do deep conditioners while chipping away at the split ends. I’m a fan of just cutting off ends, but my last stylist is one who talked me out of cutting everything off. She showed me how to maintain the hair while gaining enough length to then cut off.

Thank you for the prayers, friend! I am going to take pics on Tuesday, then an after pic when I’m feeling better.
Onika Patrick
January 31st, 2009 at 7:55 pm

Hi!

I stoped relaxing my hair about 6 months ago. I’ve always had problems with my sensitive scalp and ANY relaxer that I would use. Things got so bad that I had my hair in a sew-in weave for over 10 year!

Going natural does have its challenges. Shedding is a big issue for me. The two (or 3) textures don’t get along. I need to be deligent about trimming my ends every 4 weeks to prevent breakage. It’s also very important to deep condition every week.

I don’t believe that I will ever go back to relaxing my hair. I’m very content with braid outs and twist outs. And if I want to have straight hair once in a while I’ll visit a Dominican salon.

Best of luck to you!
LaNegra
January 31st, 2009 at 8:03 pm

Hola Onika!

Trimming and deep conditioning will keep you from pulling your hair out, no pun intended. I have a lot of hair, so relaxing, even if a few times a year makes it easier for me to comb, but I always respect those who decide to go natural.

It’s never an easy transition. It’s like trying to grow out that bad haircut. You know it’s messed up, but sit on the fence of cutting (again) or just being patient.

If you’ve gone 6 months, chances are you’re near the home stretch. I may be following your lead, but I’ll continue to do my roller sets and blow outs!

Please, visit again and give us an update.
Alicia
August 9th, 2010 at 2:35 pm

I stopped relaxing over a year ago because my edges were always so thin and I had a lot of scalp irritation. I also stopped relaxing because I was going to dominican salon every two weeks to be washed, rolled and blow dried and it didnt matter if my hair was relaxed or not, the outcome was and is still the same so why use chemicals? I had shoulder length hair. Since I stopped relaxing and due to scissor happy stylists, I have lost about 4 inches in length. It’s very frustrating and depressing for me but I figure that I rather have shorter, fuller hair than longer thinning hair which is what I had from relaxers. I have decided I will not trim again again until the end of the year because I need to see the growth and every trim is cutting away any length I may gain. I take vitamins, eat healthy and deep condition all the trim so hopefully by this time next year I will have my 4 inches back.
LaNegra
August 10th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Good for you! I always say that it’s best to know your own hair and what’s working best for it. For some, getting a regular roller set and blowout is fine. For others, it’s just way too much work on the hair.

No one will treat your hair better than YOU
jessica
September 3rd, 2010 at 5:17 pm

i decided to stop relaxing my hair because my hair was no longer getting curly…it’s been over two year since i last relaxed my hair…most my hair is curly but i still have a patch of hair that doesn’t not curl…do you know if there anything i can do to make curly….
LaNegra
September 4th, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Hola Jessica,

I really do not think that there is anything you can do, other than to wait it out. That means, that you have to wait for more new growth and chip away at what’s left of your relaxed hair.

It’s possible that your hair was over processed in that one area, or it could just be that you have a patch of hair with a completely different texture, which reacted to the relaxer differently.

Either way, unless you want to cut off your length, you may have to just be patient.
In the meantime, be sure to moisturize your hair and to be gentle with the section that still has relaxer in it.
Sorry that I cannot be more helpful.

Should I Stop Relaxing My Hair?

8 Responses to “Should I Stop Relaxing My Hair?”

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